Legit Calzones & Smokey Marinara Pizza Sauce

legit
	1. (adj.) A modern synonym for words such as "cool," "ill," "tight," or "dope." Used to describe a noun that is of a particularly excellent quality. The slang use of this term is slowly but steadily increasing in popularity.

These calzones are legit. They have a lot of "pretend" things in them, but they do not taste pretend. They taste amazing. A non-veggie co-worker asked me if she could try a bite and she also agreed that it tasted legit. I might even go so far as to say they are too legit to quit.

Hey, hey.

I can't take credit for much of this, as it is mostly comprised of other peoples' yumminess that I simply folded inside some pizza dough. So, you can give me credit for folding dough. "Excellent folding, Alissa."

Thanks.

You could put any sort of filling in here that you want- I am definitely making these again with various assortments of veggies. This time, however, I used these as an excuse to try some pretend meat products that people have been raving about on the interwebs. I liked them a lot, but they are a tad high in sodium. So, for a healthier calzone, add veggies instead...peppers, artichoke hearts, spinach, olives... almost anything would be good!

The star of this recipe is the faux ricotta recipe I got from Post Punk Kitchen I was highly skeptical. The PPK is amazing and has never let me down, but fake cheese just blows. 9 times out of 10 it tastes like ass & just makes me wish I had just gone balls to the wall veggie & left the "cheese" out of it. But not this. It is really good. I modified it just a little based on some reviewers advice. But it's really good and I will be making lots of stuff with it!

Calzones with "Ricotta"

(Bakes at 400 degrees.)

1 recipe Tofu Basil Ricotta + 1 extra clove of garlic (minced) & 1 tsp dried oregano

(note** you will have lots of filling left if you make the whole recipe. either buy a second pizza crust, use it up in pasta shells, or just halve the filling recipe.)

1 crust's worth of pre-made whole wheat pizza dough, divided into 4 (I get mine at Fresh & Easy or Trader Joe's. Or make your own. Whatevs.)

1 link Field Roast Italian Vegan "Sausage", crumbled and browned (Get @ Whole Foods)

1 cup button mushrooms, sliced

1 small handful (10-15 slices) vegan pepperoni, chopped

Any vegetables you want, diced

1.) Prepare the ricotta as noted on the PPK's recipe. Add in the extra garlic and seasoning. (I didn't have fresh basil so I used dried. And pressing the water out of the tofu is a must.)

2.) Divide the pizza dough into 4 balls & roll out each ball into a circle. You want it thin enough that it will bake evenly, but not so thin that it will tear when you fold it.

3.) Stir the browned sausage, pepperoni, and sliced mushrooms into the ricotta (or whatever veggies you are using!)

4.) Spoon the filling evenly onto the dough pieces. You can put a lot on there, it's pretty forgiving. You want it to be as full as possible without tearing. Fold the dough over and seal the edges with your fingers.

5.) Use a fork to press the seam of the calzone. Poke a few holes in the top of each one with the fork. Spritz with olive oil and sprinkle with oregano.

6.) Bake on a pizza stone at 400 degrees for 25 minutes,

or until they look like this:

While your calzones are baking, make the sauce! Or use bottled sauce if you must, but it contains an alarming amount of added sugar. This sauce is a variation on a recipe I got from my mommy.I will for sure post the original recipe for the pasta version of it sometime. It's so healthy and easy, but I wanted something just a little thicker for calzones.

Smokey Marinara Pizza Sauce

1 can fire roasted diced tomatoes (don't get the kind with green chilies. and don't drain them. just dump 'em in)

1/2 can (the little one) tomato paste

Dried Basil, to taste. (I dumped in a lot and didn't measure, ok? Maybe a TBS worth??)

Dried Oregano, to taste (Same issue. Use a lot. Maybe the same amount as the basil.)

1 tsp dried thyme

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 tsp onion powder

1.) Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan. Simmer on med-low while your calzones are cooking, stirring and tasting occasionally. Add in spices until it tastes good to you.

2.) Spoon over the top of calzones.

Baby Mama Cupcakes

I made these today to take to my dear friend Kate who just birthed a baby. I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies (sorry, I had to), but I do know a thing or 2 about cupcakes. And these are good cupcakes. Kate's older daughter saw them from across the room and ran full speed toward the tray, calling out "Bites Bites!"
Her 2 week old sister, however, seemed unaware of the cupcakes and was content to attempt to eat my face...which was fine by me :)

So anyway, this one goes out to all the baby's mamas, mamas...

Chocolate Cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting

Cupcakes:
(Bake at 350 )

1 & 2/3 Cup all-purpose flour
1/2 Cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 & 1/4 Cup granulated raw sugar
1/2 Cup Earth Balance vegan "butter", softened
1 Cup warm water
1 tsp vanilla

1.) Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, & salt in a bowl. Set aside.

2.) In another bowl, cream together sugar, vanilla, and "butter."

3.) Slowly add in dry ingredients until well incorporated and then beat until smooth.

4.) Distribute among 12 lined cupcake tins, filling each 2/3 of the way full.

5.) Bake for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.

6.) Allow to cool completely before frosting.

(recipe adapted from Vegan on the Cheap by Robin Robertson)

Peanut Butter Frosting

You can play around with the peanut butter to sugar ratio. The first time I made them, I used more peanut butter than sugar. I liked it, but it was a pretty intense peanut butter experience. It was more like peanut butter that kind of has a frosting quality to it, where the way it is listed below is more like frosting that has peanut butter flavor. Derek compared it to the inside of those little Reese's pieces candies. So, if you find yourself in 1982 with a tray of these cupcakes, stay the hell away from E.T.
He will straight up jack your shit.

1/2 cup natural peanut butter
1/2 cup Earth Balance vegan butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons almond or other non-dairy milk
1 square of a vegan dark chocolate bar, for grating.

1.) Combine all ingredients (except chocolate bar) and beat until smooth.

2.) Frost your cupcakes & then use a fine grater (not a cheese grater, crazies) to dust the tops of the cupcakes with dark chocolate.

Eat up & share with the baby-havers in your life. Or keep them to yourself. I can't make these decisions for you.

Spinach Salad with Caramelized Onions & Tempeh Bacon

Before we begin this recipe, say the word "caramelized" out loud.

If you pronounced it this way: "Care-ah-mell-ized" please go away. I hate when people say "Care-ah-mell", even though it is probably the correct pronunciation, phonetically speaking.

It's kahr-mul. When I type the pronunciation out, it seems a little white trash. I don't care. There are few things in life more annoying than a person who says "care-ah-mell." Not true. But I can't stand it. There is a Werther's Original commercial in which the offending pronunciation makes 5 appearances in under 60 seconds. I almost had an aneurysm.

What was I talking about? Oh right, salad.

This is a good one! You're not going to mistake tempeh bacon for crispy pig fat, but that's disgusting anyway. If you've never eaten tempeh, it is yummy! It has a lot of grains and aged soy beans in it, and that is what I like about tempeh bacon- it's not some weird, pressed concoction of god-knows-what formed in the shape of meat in a vein attempt to trick you. It's just tempeh, which is served a lot of ways, and in this application, brings the essence of bacon flavors in its own tasty way. It's a meat alternative that isn't trying to front. I respect that.

It's really easy, just prepare to spend some time with your onions. They need attention. (losers.) But it's worth the time! Especially if you think you don't like onions. Caramelized onions are sweet, inoffensive, and yummy. I wanted to put some nice, red tomatoes in it, too, but I was feeling way too lazy to go to the store.

Spinach Salad with Caramelized Onions & Tempeh Bacon


1 whole onion (any), caramelized
4 strips tempeh bacon ( find it in Whole Foods or TJ's by the tofu)
1/2 bag baby spinach, washed
1 recipe Basic Dijon Vinaigrette

1.) Peel, slice, & caramelize your onion.

Um, how?

-Tear the peel off like a normal human being who knows what an onion is. Then you want to cut the onion in half, and then proceed to cut it in to slices.
Note: If you research this process adequately (I did not), you will learn that it is important to have all your slices the same size, otherwise you end up with charred or undercooked pieces.
-Heat 2-3 TBS oil (depending on how big your onion is) in a large skillet until it is pretty hot. Use medium high heat and wait for it to shimmer.
-Add the onions, a pinch of salt, & stir them well so all pieces are evenly coated with oil. The salt draws out moisture.
-Let those mother caramelize! - there seems to be a difference of opinion of how often to stir. I stirred them once a minute or so...some sites say stir almost constantly, other say barely touch them. Do what your heart tells you. Or what Google tells you.

They should look about like this:



2.) When your onions are done, remove them from the heat and set them aside. Leave them in the pan so they stay warm.

3.) Lightly oil another skillet and place 4 strips on tempeh bacon in it. Cook over med- med/high heat until browned and crispy on both sides. Use a spatula to break it up in to little pieces while it's still in the pan. Turn heat to low.

4.) Place your spinach in the skillet on top of the bacon, and move it around in there until the spinach just starts to wilt a little. Don't cook it or anything, just let it get a little warm.

5.) Use tongs to evenly distribute the spinach leaves between 2 bowls. Top with the bacon and caramelized onions.

6.) Drizzle a small amount of Basic Dijon Vinaigrette over the top and, well... you know what to do.

Basic Dijon Vinaigrette
2 parts balsamic
1 part olive oil
1 squirt Dijon mustard (or more if you're making a lot)
Whisk it.